Change of Heart

Yes, I am about to get political. The muse still seems to be sleeping. If you want more writing posts, go buy my books so I can make that my way of supporting myself. Until then, you get mad rantings on things that annoy me. Well, occasionally things that make me happy. I'm a writer though, so how often is that going to happen?

So, I have been thinking about this a great deal recently. For me it is about freedom, and free speech. For many other people it is about so much more. I think it is sad that so many people have co-opted the narrative for their personal reasons and gains. So, let's ignore my personal pet cause for the moment shall we? Let's look past free speech and look to freedom and justice instead. I think those are really important things as well.

Last year, Colin Kaepernick was taking a knee during the National Anthem for a cause he believed in. I supported him, if for no other reason than because I love a good protest. Damn the man. Many fans hated him, and the NFL gave him the kiss of death. They ignored him, and then, when he was cut, they silently let his career die. For what crime? For protesting police violence and racial injustice in the United States.

Now, whether you agree with what he was saying or not, the fact is he has the right to protest. It's right there in the first amendment of the damn Constitution. Yeah, rule one has taken a beating over the last couple of years, and maybe I'll rant about that later, but let's just say it's there. There are people who say, but it's at work, so that doesn't apply. Okay, I might agree with you if it weren't for one thing. The NFL has a monopoly, so they don't get to pull the same shit that other companies do. Other companies can do that. But since they are breaking a big rule, and the government is ignoring it, like they shouldn't, they don't get to suppress the rights of their employees. But, not the point. Big point? He wasn't protesting for free speech. He was saying, hey cops! Stop killing people. Stop killing my people. Got it? That's what it was.

So, fast forward a year. Dear old Colin can't find a team, and the President is hurling insults at football, and everyone is surprised. Now all of a sudden everyone is taking a knee, or a lot of them. The NFL is suddenly okay with it, and it's all about free speech. As one commentator mentioned, only one team seems to remember what this protest was actually about. A couple of the players do, but only one team does. There is still an argument, but the league is suddenly okay with the protests. Nobody is being fired or fined. Now it's okay.

Why the reversal?

Good question.

Because they are following an old rule.

If you don't like what they are saying, change the conversation.

That's what they did. See, the NFL is okay with division, but they want to pretend that they are unified with the people and the players, against Trump. They aren't. They want you, they want us, divided.

The NFL is okay with this controversy over free speech. They don't mind being on the wrong side of that. They are okay with an argument of black versus white. They don't even mind being on the wrong side of that. They have conned you. Even though they don't care about a race argument, they turned this into the safest argument for them. They made this about the National Anthem. Which it never was! So now they are okay with the protests.

So, why weren't they okay with Kaepernick's original protests? Because it was a half step from an argument that was dangerous for them. He was talking about the police brutalizing and killing people. He was talking about a certain group of people. So that argument was divisive, yes, but a lot of white folks were getting on board. Okay, they might have been able to tolerate that. But if that gained steam, how long before the conversation became this.

You know, it's funny. There seem to be a lot of militarized police running around that are hurting average citizens, a lot of whom aren't white, all of them seem to be of moderate to low income. While there are a large number of good cops out there, the ones that are doing the bad stuff all seem to have really heavy grade hardware and are serving the interests of the corporate elite rather than the common people. It's almost like there is a connection between the tanks at Standing Rock, the dead man in New York who was selling product that big tobacco has a monopoly on, and all of this other stuff going on.

The current protests are about something that has nothing to do with them. Kaepernick's protest was one step or less from drawing attention to an issue they are a huge part of. They are rich, so the militarization of the police does nothing but benefit them. They love that they are allowed a monopoly that goes against the laws of this country. They love that as a corporation they are allowed to dump money into politics unchecked. Kaepernick, as one man, threatened them. His protest was real. This current slew of protests distracts you from them. They are bullshit. I love free speech. I love the First Amendment. They are things I stand for, above all else. Because of that, it offends me that they are being used to distract you from a different cause.

Whether you believe in that cause or not, start paying attention to it. Argue about it. Decide what needs to be done about that. We can argue free speech another time. You are being herded and it is time to break out of the pen, my friends. We have to stop falling for this. Because this division is killing us. We are not each other's enemy.

Get united.

#politics #commentary #taketheknee

When I was Old

I don't normally try to enjoy the sun, something about the White Irish gene. That's ginger to you folks that are even more bigoted than  people who still say White Irish. Sunburn, heat-rashes, sun and heat stroke aside... strange shit always happens in the sun. I can't be the only one who's noticed that. Yesterday was no exception. Except to my rule about enjoying the sun.

So I was stepping outside and the first thing I see is me approaching. This was no normal me though. This was a me that was the same age as Kerry Charlton. As if I was going to live that long. Truth is, if my dad didn't turn out to be right, if the world didn't end... well eventually the years of smoking would catch up with me, or the days spent in the sun. No matter what, cancer was just a knock away.

So, this older than I'll ever be version of me storms up to me. I can't figure out why he looks so pissed off. I mean he looks like he holds the kind of anger I felt when I was in high school. Thankfully, I'm a vocal, passionate ass. No matter what age, no matter if I'm me or him. I don't have to wait long before he gives me what for.

"How dare you? Do you know what you're wasting?"

I open my mouth to defend myself, but then I interrupt me, of course.

"Do you know when an author does their best writing? Of course you do, every writer does."

I am about to ask him to tell me but then he does.

"It's before he becomes famous. Before he has to worry about appeasing fans and keeping an audience. When you do nothing but experiment, when your art is pure. Before you get stereotyped and pigeonholed into the crap some publisher wants."

I sigh, about to defend myself, but I won't shut up.

"We both know you're not famous yet, and this is the best time. How are you wasting it? You're chasing success instead of the art. Even the shit you do on that website is ego stroking. Why aren't you trying to break things? That's what an artist does. What the hell is wrong with you? You don't want to end up like me; rich, alone, unfulfilled, sold out. Start writing the revolution now, boy."

I open my mouth to tell him that he needs to learn to expand his prose. The idea is there but years of flash fiction limit him. He seems to know what I am about to say. He seems to hate that it makes his point. He l shuts my mouth by slapping me hard. My ear is still ringing when I realize he has gone back to his own reality.

#shortstory #Awethors #author #writer #aboutme #writing #anger

It's Not the Guns

So, one of the things I have always said about writers is that we either write the world we want to see, to help people get there, or the one we are terrified we are headed towards, to help people avoid it. I'm one that does the latter. I believe avoiding that dark place we are blindly walking towards involves understanding what is wrong, and more importantly the causes behind it. The ignorance I see right now is amazing. I should warn some of my friends, you aren't going to like what I have to say here, and I'm okay with that.

So, one of the things I keep seeing everyone up in arms over is the mass shootings that the States are known for. I'm fairly certain that everyone agrees, the wholesale slaughter of innocent people is a problem. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure there are some people out there willing to say it helps with population control and makes the country great again. And yet I'm going to pretend those people don't exist and ask you to allow me this delusion, as me having it does nothing to harm you. Unlike the big one that some of you have.

The point being, we can all agree there is a problem. Many of you want to take the easy route instead of fixing this problem though. That shit is starting to get to me. How intelligent, compassionate, and loving people can miss the point. How people I know and respect, people I have seen show a willingness to fight for what is right now matter how hard it is, can look past the long road to making things better and want to skip to the end. An end that will, inevitably, bring us right back to this place, or one very much like it.

The easy route is is blaming the guns. We've all done something like this in our lives, but in a case like this we need to take a good hard look at reality. I'm going to ignore the insanity behind why people want to ban guns. I'm even going to skip the part about real solutions the gun control issues, and the simplest solutions to them. I'm even going to pretend that the arguments about how the government has us outgunned makes the second amendment useless might make sense. I might talk about some of that stuff later on, but it's not really the point here. Though, bring up the outgunned thing is kind ironic.

Now, I do have to briefly point out that the problem is not that people have guns. It's not that they have tons of ammunition. The problem isn't the weapons. It's the willingness to use them. It's the fact that we ignore people who are mentally ill and/or in pain. We are so obsessed with keeping our heads down and getting the work done, fitting in and not making waves that we don't notice when people are ready to snap. We can't notice those things, because it just looks like someone going through the same things we are. It makes my heart ache that we have given up our will to greatness, the driving passion that pushed us to be something special. Mediocrity is our call word, apathy our shield. In this world we create, this place where excellence is feared instead of chased, is it any wonder that people snap? In a country where we ignore each other, can we blame ourselves for missing the signs of a damaged mind ready to rampage?

Well, yes. There are important things there that need to be discussed too. Things like, how do we fix that problem? How do we help the people in need it so they stop killing our children? How can we become a people that both want more and willingly love again? However, they are also not the point of this diatribe. They are the middle of this long path, and we (or I, with you as my hostage) are interested in the beginning. We need the first steps to get moving on this journey.

The first step is, as always, understanding. So what is it we need to know? What is there to be seen that we are blind to?

The thing that I am best at, if one discounts writing, is management. By that I mean the managing of people, not the made up field of managing projects. There are certain philosophies, ideas, and truths that one learns in doing this. Only one of them is important here, but it is a big one. The best and easiest way to get your employees to do what you want is to model that behavior. That works because people will emulate the actions and personalities of their leaders. So, you treat your employees like you want them to treat the customers, because they will. Some will resist it, and all will modify it to fit their personality and style, but it means your company treats people the way that you treat people.

Now think about that in relation to a country. To our country. To this particular issue.

I just heard a bunch of you go, 'Aha!'

For the rest of you, let me explain...

We have these two huge problems in this country. where violence is concerned, right now. One, as mentioned, is people picking up weapons and brutally killing large groups of other people. Everyone knows this is a bad thing and that it needs to be stopped. A large number of people have no answer, for the same reason that another large group of people say, let's ban guns (which is just plain stupid). The answer is hard. Not looking for an answer is easy, but does nothing. Banning guns is easy, but does nothing to fix the problem. Machiavelli said it a long time ago, the only reason for a government to take weapons from the people is if that government has more reason to fear its people than its enemies. Only if the rulers are oppressing their citizens do they ever want them disarmed. Think about that, but realize it's another tangent. I've already mentioned some of the simpler things, like getting people the help they need and making people feel connected. Those things will help, and they are important but they are not the cure to this problem. They are things we need to do if we want to be good human beings. First we need to stop killing each other long enough to get there.

The second dilemma is the willingness of some cops to start shooting for no reason, or ones that are not good enough. So, this happens and we once again focus on the wrong things. We look at white cops shooting minorities. We talk about cameras so we can be sure to know what the cops are doing. Sometimes we make excuses, or we ignore legitimate reasons. So, what is the one thing we don't focus on? How someone in a position of authority and trust betrayed that position and killed someone they were supposed to be protecting. We don't look at how there is almost always another, better way to deal with the problem. We focus on that one issue. Again, these are things we can talk about another time though. What we need to see now is, why is it happening?

Are the two related?

You bet your ass they are. Not in the way most will think though. One is not the cause of the other. People are not committing larger and larger mass murders because some cops are out of control. Some of the police ordered to protect us are not betraying that trust because maniacs are running around and killing people in wholesale slaughters normally seen only in horror movies. They are related because they are the same type of actions, caused by the same stimuli.

If you want to see where it all starts you simply have to look at our managers, our handlers, and our culture of war.

It can be argued that once upon a time our country entered wars with good intentions, to save the world. It can even be argued that we continued to have good intentions after we started to become bullies. I honestly believe we entered Vietnam with the best intentions. We didn't think it through, and those ideals weren't pure anymore, but the intentions were good. I don't know, maybe they still are today, but we have to look at what we actually do, no matter what we mean to.

Our leaders take us into wars with much weaker nations. We take tanks, bombs, planes and computers and we beat the hell out of places that are trying to fight against us with sticks. I'm not saying some of these place don't hate us and want us dead, I'm saying they don't have the firepower to make it happen. I am saying that if we tried to talk to them they would have no choice but to meet us at the table. Because they don't stand a damn chance against us in battle. That doesn't stop us though, and we so rarely take the peaceful route. Instead we attack, mercilessly and brutally and don't stop until the enemy is dead.

So we choose targets that are weak. We also choose targets that are opposed to us in some moral way that not everybody can understand. We get it, or at least our leaders do. We cloak this in "protecting our way of life." I don't know what the hell we're protecting it from. Those guys armed with rocks and insanity aren't all that scary, but I digress.

Lastly, we attack in a very public fashion. We do it to make our point. When we get called out on it we don't offer any apologies. We just expect to be understood, because, damn it, we're right and we have God on our side. Those idiots that don't get it can go to hell.

Our leaders, our managers, our caretakers approach war in this way.

Sound like anything else we've been discussing?

Cops shooting unarmed people in the street. Saying they felt their life was in danger. Making a public display of what happens to those who oppose their authority. Never once apologizing for the terror this causes in the populace. Saying it's okay, because these people were a threat to decent people everywhere.

Citizens targeting building full of folks that have different agendas than them, often different religions. Taking weapons and slaughtering those who have none, often those who just wish to be peaceful. Choosing targets that will make national news, even if their mass slaughter would not have on its own. Never offering an apology, expecting the true believers to understand. Often times making themselves into martyrs for a cause they think others will just get but only they really understand. Leaving devastation and horror in their wake.

What does this sound like? Both situations, what do we see in common with what we do as a country? This isn't new. This is life in America. This is us following the example set for us by those who govern us. Which leads me back to the point...

It's not the guns.

Maybe it's time we stopped blaming them and thinking we can solve the problem by getting rid of the one thing we have that we can use to defend ourselves. Maybe it's time we look at the leaders giving us our examples and realize we should replace them, instead of giving up our rights.

Maybe, just maybe, it's time we stood up and started making good, and well informed, decisions.

Inevitable Realworld Scammers

The worst part is hearing your own self-deprecating thoughts echoed by people that are supposed to care for and about you.

Saturday, midnight, so technically it was Sunday. I sat at the computer with the usual windows open. Hunger gnawed at me. The Vienna Sausages from the dollar store were running low and the ramen was all but nonexistent. Perhaps when I finished I would fill up on water saltines. Tomorrow would be time enough to break open one of those precious packs of sodium flavored sustenance.

I paused to check my wallet. Green faced, bobble headed Abe Lincoln peered at me. I had just enough. After “breakfast” I would walk to the discount grocery store and pick up a wilted head of lettuce, a bruised tomato, one unintentionally dried mushroom, and a can of tuna. Once home I could add the last slice of processed American cheese and scrape questionable mayo out of the jar. Dinner for three days.

I would have a dollar left. Not enough for the bus but I prayed I had enough gas to get to the interview on Tuesday. I would probably run out on the way home but I would worry about that later, like when I was walking fifteen miles with my thumb out.

Finishing the inane questions I clicked submit. Instead of the ‘Your claim has been accepted’ message I got something else. At the same time the lights went out. I had been expecting it. Don’t pay the bill long enough and that happens. Thankfully the internet was still up at the moment.

I saw a counter that had started at thirty seconds. I had wasted ten. The message was cold.

Dear Long Term Unemployed;

 Your unemployment payments ended when the extension program terminated. Since that time efforts to renew have been made. All have failed as we feel it far more important to show separatists in other nations that they must bow to the will of their government. We feel the money is also better spent arming rebels that will inevitably turn against us in third world nations. We would much rather spend money you paid into the system on people who cannot vote for us.

Further, we do not want this issue raised during the election. We would like the unemployment numbers to go down. As one of the ways this is calculated is people filing claims, even when they are useless as no payments are forthcoming, we offer you this deal. Click below and we will pay you a lump sum of three million dollars. In return you will cease filing claims for the remainder of your life. You have thirty seconds to comply.

Sincerely,

Your Congress

I knew better than to click. The power was out, the internet would go soon. Once the laptop ran out of charge I wouldn’t even be able to job hunt. Next month the foreclosure would start. What the hell did I have to lose? I clicked the link and prayed.

The message was replaced by a new one, even colder.

We knew you were lazy. We knew you were looking for a handout. If you really wanted to work you would be. Your unemployment claim is denied. The process to demand a return of all funds due to fraud will be initiated on the next business day. Congratulations hippie.

I hate to waste water, but I began to weep.

#shortstory #anger #politicalcommentary #socialcommentary #writer #reneweuc

Political Anger

In general I try to avoid politics but today I can't. Promise I'll post a story later to make up for it.

I'm feeling very angry that with the budget extension congress can attach a rider to fund rebels but not bother to #reneweuc. If you live in the States reach out to your reps. Or you can go buy my book and make it unnecessary for me at least. Better yet... both.

Good thing there's not an election coming up or anything.

Okay, rant off. Again, sorry about that.






#aboutme #anger #politicalcommentary #shamelessselfpromotion #socialcommentary #novel

My Thanks

Okay, and one more story. So this was around Thanksgiving last year that the prompt came up about a writing intervention. Since we're getting closer to that season I might as well post this one.

                I have never liked Thanksgiving. Bland food and boring company make me want to open a vein and end it all in a way that only the fights surrounding Christmas can compare to. I used to give in to convention and spend it with my family, then one year my mom gave me a typewriter, we were poor so no word processor or anything like that, and I fell in love. It became my tradition that once the drudgery was over I would slip away and write what I was thankful for and share it with no one. Over time my life became about writing and the dead end jobs that I worked to allow myself to get by until I am discovered.

                Now there is some grey in my beard and I live life on my own terms, sort of. Six years ago I decided I wasn’t doing Thanksgiving with the family anymore. I spent the night alone, writing and eating turkey curry from an Indian place down the street. This year I gave in though, I gave in when Joe and his new wife invited me over. Joe is my best friend, and a friend of the family so I knew at least my mom would be there. I was not expecting an ambush.

                Joe’s wife let me in, I always think of her as Joan because she’s a curvy redhead, and in a pun on my friend’s name. I didn’t smell any food, but then Joe wasn’t much of a cook. When I was led into the living room I saw Joe, Frank, Bobbi-Jo, my mom, my grandmother and a handful of other friends. Over their heads hung the Intervention sign above the mantle. I sighed, it was going to be one of those nights.

                “Getting right to the point you spend too much time writing.” That was Joe, scrawny little punk always has something to say. “If you were to make a living at it we might be able to accept that.”

                “I always have money.” My only possible response.

                “That isn’t from writing. I wish I’d never given you that typewriter! You ignore your family and friends for your fantasy worlds.” That was my mom of course.

                “I just don’t like most of you that much.” Time to be honest I guess.

                “You never go out, and you don’t have a girlfriend.” That was Frank, he should shut up more.

                “I have women when I want them.”

                “They aren’t real sugarplum.”

                That last was my grandma, god I hate her. What I said was true. I’m never broke, and I have women when I want them. You see, what I write always comes true. Six years ago I wrote how thankful I was that I wouldn’t spend Thanksgiving with friends or family for five years. It wasn’t enough. This year I’m going to have to write how thankful I am for the tragic chain of events that killed all my nearest and dearest.

#anger #comedy #magic #shortstory

Snow King, Gypsy Queen

Another of my favorites, probably because the idea got all twisted around when I wrote it. Hope you enjoy. Oh, and since I haven't said it today, remember to go buy my book.

Louisiana to New York is a long distance to call, especially for eleven on a Saturday morning when there are lawns to be mowed. Mom was hysterical when she placed the call.

“Calm down mama. What’s wrong?”

“It… it’s… it’s your father…” She choked out between heart shattering sobs. “He’s been frozen solid as,” his cold and murderous heart “a block of ice.”

“Get hold of yourself. Have some tea and I’ll deal with it. Everything is going to be okay now.”

I knew my father’s condition was my fault, and I could actually fix it. Mama didn’t know either of those things. I went through my contacts as I stepped into the kitchen. Maybe I’d have a beer to help.

Isadora was a voodoo queen, a priestess of the Loa. She had also had a thing for me since long before I moved to the big city. She made me wait a full five jingles before she picked up. Who doesn’t have a cell phone these days? Or even voicemail? When she did answer it was in that sweetly seductive tone that made me consider moving her to New York with me.

“Mon cher, I was expectin’ your call laytah.”

“The Baron feeding you bad information?”

“Non, he jes’ fine. You the one normally be sleepin’ in.” She gave a throaty laugh.

“It happened just like you said it would.”

“Well you know tha price for my help.”

“You can fix it?” I was worried, I admit it.

“Non. Only you can do tha’ an’ you acted rash mon cher. There is risk, he may be harmed by the coming back.”

“But you think it can be fixed.”

“Oui.”

“I’ll call you back when it is.”

I opened the freezer before dialing mama. This was a high price.

The phone only rang once when I placed the return call to my mother. She was sniffling but the wailing cries had abated. That, with the comatose way she slurred her words told me she had listened to me about the tea then chased it with a valium.

“Okay mama. I can fix this. Put the phone to papa’s ear for a second.”

“How lawn…guh?”

“You’ll know.”

A moment of silence, then the clink of the phone against ice and I was talking to my dear father. I seethed the next words quietly, only for him. Cold stung my hand, funny how I only felt it then.

“All right you son of a bitch. I’m going to put the poppet of you in cold water. You should unfreeze in about two hours. This was a warning. Mama ever calls me crying with a black eye or a bruise again and I’ll hit it with a hammer instead of a nice warming bath. You better understand.”

I raised my voice both to hurt my father’s ear and to let mama hear me.

“I’m hanging up mama; this will take a little bit. Just stay chill. Everything is going to be okay now.”

#shortstory #writing #voodoo #magic #familyissues #anger